I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
