I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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