they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
