He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I bet he comes in French.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
