OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
