if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
