forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
