Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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