I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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