There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
