You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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