I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
This show inspires me to have sex in space
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
