You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
And then my night got REAL pukey
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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