haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize