i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
