So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
