My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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