i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
...so i touched it.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
