Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
