She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Let's paint friendship bongs
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
