addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
