I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
