My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
