I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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