One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
