considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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