ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
