some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
