please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
