I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
