If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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