So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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