His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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