Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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