I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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