After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
