Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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