i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
