at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
