someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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