physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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