ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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