your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
