She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
