It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
