There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
