I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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