He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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