you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
