I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
