i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
