If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
