you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize