If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
