Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I need a burrito and a hug.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
