where does the pee come out of this thing
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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